Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
