By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
