me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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