Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
