OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
