i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
