But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
