You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
