Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
