There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Drake has all the answers
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize