I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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