these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The uberlube is also flammable
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
