i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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