When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
