even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
