i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
