i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
