I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
