She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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