I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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