dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize