Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
