Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
