why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
