You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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