i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
