Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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