i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
