That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
