It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she pinky promised me she was 18
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
