I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
