okay pat passed out under dana's car
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
