Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I party with great urgency now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
