Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
