Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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