Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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