No awkward lesbian experiences without me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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