the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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