what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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