its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
