So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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