I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Couch. On fire.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
