Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
