the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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