haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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