The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
