nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
