the new term for farting is butt boxing.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize