Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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