Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
this hospital has no fireball
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
