He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
