theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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