Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
