that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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