If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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