Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
