There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
