do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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