I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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