Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
