Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
