Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
