i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
