every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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