im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
