You just made me feel so damn special
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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