I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
