I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
