The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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